The lake is still beautiful.

After hearing that an old friends’ dad suddenly passed away a few months ago I find myself tossing and turning that night – the same tossing I became so used to after my own dad died.

When my friend shared with me the events of the day that would turn out to be her dads’ last few hours I couldn’t help reliving the shock and terror she must have felt that day when all of their lives changed forever.

I’m lying in my bed contemplating a force much bigger than anything we know in this realm – a force with the power to change the direction of our lives in an instant, in a last thumbs-up, in the drawing of a last breath.

I think about the way we are able to adapt within the midst of the unthinkable happening – about our ability as humans to move forward despite the shock, fear, unknown – unable to go back, our only choice to move forward.

As I listened to my friend talk about her sadness and loss I understood that this loss was far greater than our minds can perceive whilst in the midst of the chaos and feeling of unsettledness that usually follows after such a sudden change in ones’ life plan.

As I lay in my bed that night sorting through all these thoughts in my mind – trying to still make sense of my own fathers’ death after almost three years I suddenly felt like I’m looking at loss from above.

I’m looking at a beautiful lake on a rare sunshine day in the middle of winter. Although it is cold and the middle of winter the sun is warming my body all over. The lake is completely flat like a mirror - perfect. A little ripple starts from the center of the lake, it grows and grows and grows. The circles grow wider and wider until the entire lake is alive with the energy coming from one center point.

The lake is still beautiful.

When someone close to us die the impact of the loss goes so much deeper and wider than what we can think in that instance. Like water, in time the loss will flow into all the little nooks and crannies of our lives touching every part of our being and changing the way we were before.

Sometimes the ripples turn into waves crashing into each other one after the other – enough to drown you.  That is ok.

When you are ready you will come back up and start swimming again. You will make new ripples – mixed with the ripples from before they will dance around the lake, catch the sunlight and be filled with beautiful memories from the past, glistening brightly with hope and courage for the future.

The lake will be different but still beautiful.